*This is a personal post of writer to treasure an unusual moment of his life (unusual because this thing has not happened in his life since memory).Writer wants to pen it down but he is very bad in keeping paper hence keeping it in electronic storage, this post content boring unrelated stuff with no flow, so please be informed before reading, If you still decide to read it then please don’t blame me.
4th Feb 2014, 5:30 AM, The whole atmosphere was chilly, it seems Kashmir has shifted to Bihar for the morning, it was unusual cold February morning (night was even more pathetic), few drop of warm water was rolling on my cheeks, first time in my life I came to know that tears are warm (and a bit salty too), occasion was my niece marriage , she was going to her in-laws place and during those last moments when she came to me, tears roll down from my eyes. For the circumstances it is natural but for me it is quite strange. I think I am very tough emotionally ,I have left my parents at the age of 7, but that time also I didn’t cried, than in my entire upbringing I have never felt like crying (though my life is full of hard moments) then why that time. Let’s get into flash back…………………………..
I have just arrived from a long holiday from north-east (9 days, considering I work in manufacturing that’s a long leave). I got a call from my elder sister that my niece is getting married next month, I felt happy for the instance but suddenly mind start calculating, just now I have taken a leave and again a 5 days leave next month will add honey of enmity in relationship between me and my boss (which is already very sweet) and mind started working an idea. Suddenly it flashed in my mind one of my very good friend’s marriage dates are clashing with the same. The current market scenario helps me making a decision that I will skip my niece marriage. I done an one to one comparison, I am in constant touch with my friend whereas I use to talk to my niece hardly once in a month or so, but as marriage date approaches I was feeling something different, It seems I was willing to attend that but need one outside push for the same, few time I checked tickets also but getting another life is easy than getting a train ticket for Bihar. Suddenly one day my father called me and given that push, in form of a father's order and than a buyer inside me suddenly awakes and tickets are arranged (from an alternate route) .Then begins the worst part, train journey. I am still unable to understand how come a train which stated on time can be delayed by 17 hours in a 15h20 min journey but then The Great Indian railway can do wonders and make every impossible thing possible. Finally after using 2-3 mode of transport I reach the place, at 3rd Feb morning…
3rd Feb Morning, When I arrived after meeting few relatives I headed towards my niece, she was seating in a room and crying with my sis, I as per my style went to her and make few jokes on her in-laws and finally she give up and smiled, she was happy that I finally came. Some time you don’t know that distance on earth does not decide the closeness of heart, neither a too much of communication can bring people close. I realize it then. About my niece Annie ….. She is almost of my age( 1.75 years younger than me), I think that itself brings a bond which I never noticed(if someone ask me I will still say I am more close to my nephew Sunny because he was with me for 2 years, we shared room).Even my other niece Anshu seems close since she is a frequent visitor in my house and communication is more with Anshu, with Annie in childhood, I shared good repo, but after shifting to Delhi, initially, I hardly talk to her once in quarter or even semi annually, after her graduation and my collage we have talked more since she needs advise on career and I have supported her in few things. She use to come to me when in need of advice and it formed a very strong bond, I think, but that doesn’t came in existence before that morning. Sometime you are ignorant about the things which exist and realize it only when it goes away from you. That’s all with her.
Back to the morning 4th Feb, tears were fallowing from my eyes and its very very strange, after her departure , I left for Delhi and in the way I thought about it, how came tears come down from my eyes, I have not even cried even when I left my parents. I think of myself as a very sensitive person but not as an emotional fool (I say to people who cry).Some basic social concepts I realized in my back journey (that journey itself is a memory wroth of penning down).Relationship and it depth cannot be measured with logic, and tears are indicators of closeness, I don’t think so, it may indicate happiness (khushi ke aanshu) but that was not of happiness that I am sure. I am unable to understand it absolutely, but what I feel that, that was a sensitivity of emotion which flow in form of warm water from eyes which actually break the boundary of heart. Did I felt a lost, so that I cried? If I be honest I don’t feel so now, may be that moment or it may be also possible that every other one is crying and like a communicable dieses it came to me. But letter when I thought more, I felt that when she came to me with tears in her eyes calling my name, that time I felt unaided, and the state of helplessness reflected my weaker side in form of tears, at that moment I was not, that strong Vikas who takes everything head on, I confess I felt very fragile that time and tears are indicator of weakness. I hope in future, I never be weak again but want to remain sensitive. At last join me to wish my niece Annie a very happy, prosperous, cheerful, joyful and romantic and full of love married life……
4th Feb 2014, 5:30 AM, The whole atmosphere was chilly, it seems Kashmir has shifted to Bihar for the morning, it was unusual cold February morning (night was even more pathetic), few drop of warm water was rolling on my cheeks, first time in my life I came to know that tears are warm (and a bit salty too), occasion was my niece marriage , she was going to her in-laws place and during those last moments when she came to me, tears roll down from my eyes. For the circumstances it is natural but for me it is quite strange. I think I am very tough emotionally ,I have left my parents at the age of 7, but that time also I didn’t cried, than in my entire upbringing I have never felt like crying (though my life is full of hard moments) then why that time. Let’s get into flash back…………………………..
I have just arrived from a long holiday from north-east (9 days, considering I work in manufacturing that’s a long leave). I got a call from my elder sister that my niece is getting married next month, I felt happy for the instance but suddenly mind start calculating, just now I have taken a leave and again a 5 days leave next month will add honey of enmity in relationship between me and my boss (which is already very sweet) and mind started working an idea. Suddenly it flashed in my mind one of my very good friend’s marriage dates are clashing with the same. The current market scenario helps me making a decision that I will skip my niece marriage. I done an one to one comparison, I am in constant touch with my friend whereas I use to talk to my niece hardly once in a month or so, but as marriage date approaches I was feeling something different, It seems I was willing to attend that but need one outside push for the same, few time I checked tickets also but getting another life is easy than getting a train ticket for Bihar. Suddenly one day my father called me and given that push, in form of a father's order and than a buyer inside me suddenly awakes and tickets are arranged (from an alternate route) .Then begins the worst part, train journey. I am still unable to understand how come a train which stated on time can be delayed by 17 hours in a 15h20 min journey but then The Great Indian railway can do wonders and make every impossible thing possible. Finally after using 2-3 mode of transport I reach the place, at 3rd Feb morning…
3rd Feb Morning, When I arrived after meeting few relatives I headed towards my niece, she was seating in a room and crying with my sis, I as per my style went to her and make few jokes on her in-laws and finally she give up and smiled, she was happy that I finally came. Some time you don’t know that distance on earth does not decide the closeness of heart, neither a too much of communication can bring people close. I realize it then. About my niece Annie ….. She is almost of my age( 1.75 years younger than me), I think that itself brings a bond which I never noticed(if someone ask me I will still say I am more close to my nephew Sunny because he was with me for 2 years, we shared room).Even my other niece Anshu seems close since she is a frequent visitor in my house and communication is more with Anshu, with Annie in childhood, I shared good repo, but after shifting to Delhi, initially, I hardly talk to her once in quarter or even semi annually, after her graduation and my collage we have talked more since she needs advise on career and I have supported her in few things. She use to come to me when in need of advice and it formed a very strong bond, I think, but that doesn’t came in existence before that morning. Sometime you are ignorant about the things which exist and realize it only when it goes away from you. That’s all with her.
Back to the morning 4th Feb, tears were fallowing from my eyes and its very very strange, after her departure , I left for Delhi and in the way I thought about it, how came tears come down from my eyes, I have not even cried even when I left my parents. I think of myself as a very sensitive person but not as an emotional fool (I say to people who cry).Some basic social concepts I realized in my back journey (that journey itself is a memory wroth of penning down).Relationship and it depth cannot be measured with logic, and tears are indicators of closeness, I don’t think so, it may indicate happiness (khushi ke aanshu) but that was not of happiness that I am sure. I am unable to understand it absolutely, but what I feel that, that was a sensitivity of emotion which flow in form of warm water from eyes which actually break the boundary of heart. Did I felt a lost, so that I cried? If I be honest I don’t feel so now, may be that moment or it may be also possible that every other one is crying and like a communicable dieses it came to me. But letter when I thought more, I felt that when she came to me with tears in her eyes calling my name, that time I felt unaided, and the state of helplessness reflected my weaker side in form of tears, at that moment I was not, that strong Vikas who takes everything head on, I confess I felt very fragile that time and tears are indicator of weakness. I hope in future, I never be weak again but want to remain sensitive. At last join me to wish my niece Annie a very happy, prosperous, cheerful, joyful and romantic and full of love married life……
